Journal 173: Resenting and dividing is only the beginning of new suffering for one another.
They were simply ignorant. They did not know themselves. Feeling sorrow for that is all one can do.
That is the mercy extended to them. Resenting and dividing is only the beginning of new suffering for one another.
Today I took a break from running, and in the morning I quickly uploaded the products to Instagram.
And I headed straight to the cafe. As expected, nothing special happened.
It's only natural for customers to rush in right before closing given the nature of Sunday service, so I just let it be.
Today was the day I was scheduled to meet a younger friend I've known for a long time.
Right after finishing my volunteer work, we met up and ate sushi for the first time in a while.
Eating it after so long, it was delicious. As the end of the year approaches, the number of people to meet is increasing.
After having our meal like that and walking around, we talked at a cafe.
We went in around 3 o'clock, but by the time we came out, it was 6 o'clock. Time flew by just like that.
Then we browsed around the department store for a bit before I took her home.
She was wearing high heels, and her feet looked sore. That was bothering me a bit, so I wanted to get her home quickly.
I asked the leader of the church youth group to take photos of the products. But it feels like I might have asked for too much..
It's not that I take it for granted. So I just plan to cancel it.
Although I really needed the ring photos, the necklace photos can be done with a colleague I work with..
I made the request, but I realized this was my own self-interest. I just wanted an excuse to talk with them.
It was merely a desire. I was not being honest with them, nor with myself.
In truth, I don't know if I can converse well even if we meet now.
I can listen to them now, but I don't know if I can talk about my faith anymore.
Even having these thoughts is meaningless. It is like holding onto myself.
Ah.. I see. So living while focusing solely on the present moment includes things like this too.
- I appreciate everything.
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"Hate the sin, but do not hate the person"—I want to interpret this in a different way.
That is, I want to interpret it non-dually (non-dualistically). That is what I realized yesterday and this morning.
Sin is merely an event. It is simply the rule of society made by humans. Breaking it becomes a 'sin'.
How is it in Nature? It is simply a natural occurrence. Even animals sometimes kill their own kind.
We are a part of nature. Thus, hate the sin, but as for the person.. do not hate their true essence.
They were simply ignorant. They did not know themselves. Feeling sorrow for that is all one can do.
That is the mercy extended to them. Resenting and dividing is only the beginning of new suffering for one another.
What did I do today?.. I went to work at an apartment in Okjeong, Yangju.
It was a 1-hour trip, and because the bus interval was 30 minutes, I left a bit early and ended up arriving 30 minutes ahead of time.
Since it was my first time at this location, I listened to a rough explanation and got to work, but the hose kept coming off.
It was a workload meant to finish in the morning, but because of the hose issue, the start was delayed, and it finally finished at 1:30 PM.
Still, it ended early. These days, I don't care when it ends.
Because I know that where there is a beginning, there is an end.
I keep realizing that the world is already perfect.
Ever since I realized that I was incomplete, living in imagination, and trapped in a dream, I have been continuously aware.
Whatever happens, I awaken again by inwardly calling out, "I am."
Now, even "I am" is fading away. It is realizing the awareness itself. That familiar feeling from before is returning.
When I stay aware, see that the world is perfect, and make the effort to empty everything, I feel that things unfold smoothly.
Even when there was a problem with the hose, everyone helped, and good things kept coming to me—effortlessly.
And before doing a task, the time spent thinking has decreased. The body simply moves first.
After that, nothing special happened. I was planning to go to Jongno today, but since an acquaintance is taking a day off work tomorrow and said he would go, I said okay.
Hmm.. there is nothing more to write. I try not to squeeze out words by force.
Thank you, as good things continue to come like miracles.
After waking up in the morning and doing a light workout, I quickly studied Japanese as well.
Normally this would have been impossible, but it was made possible because the colleague I work with rented a car and was coming to my house.
The more I realized that the world is non-dual, the more I thought that even my emotions did not exist.
Since they aren't mine, I thought that even the things I like aren't mine either.
That was not it. Right now, in this moment, I can like something, or I can dislike it.
Right now, in this moment, there can be happiness, or there can be pain and anxiety.
However, defining myself by these things, holding onto them and continuously constructing an identity called "me"—
that is precisely what is wrong. Day by day, I am born anew, changing every single day.
So I say delicious food is delicious, and unpalatable food is unpalatable.
It is just that I do not attach great meaning to them. I simply view them as occurrences.
Because "I" do not exist. The physical body is not mine. The same goes for emotions and thoughts.
I listen to what I speak, and I watch what I feel. They simply come and go.
This body, thought, and mind change, but I am changeless, eternal, and ever the same.
I appreciate everything.
In the morning, while taking my time, I suddenly had a stomachache and almost ran late.
But I wasn't late after all. Did I arrive 5 minutes early? Still, I should go earlier tomorrow.
After finishing work, nothing in particular happened. Tomorrow I have to go straight to Jongno.
In the evening, I went to a funeral hall as an acquaintance's mother from church passed away.
Though the condolence service was at 7, I still favor personal connections over formality.
Even though we weren't close, going felt like the right thing to do. I could empathize with his sorrow.
When making a silent bow, I immersed myself fully in that moment, and tears almost welled up.
I know that simply empathizing together is the best one can do. I didn't eat.
I just drank water and headed home. Truthfully, I pondered what to say,
but felt as though he didn't particularly mind my presence.
I felt no emotion about that at all. Even if I did, it is merely an event.
No event defines anyone, nor does it define me, any longer.
The stylist sent me photos of the pieces they wore from the sponsored items I lent them.
They wore them much more than expected, and I felt grateful.
- I appreciate everything.
Today I arrived early at the workplace and got ready quickly.
The finishing time was a bit past 10:30. Then I had a meal and headed to Jongno.
I handed over the plating, but it cost quite a bit more than expected.
The price always fluctuates this way and that. It was a bit frustrating that it wasn't fixed.
I plan to give up on making the Key Chain out of Brass.
Because the unit cost doesn't line up.. I intend to just print it with resin using a 3D printer and make it.
It's already Friday today, and tomorrow is Saturday.
Today I plan to attend the Friday evening service for the first time in a while.
Knowing that thoughts calculating and seeking reasons are not mine but merely the ego,
I now intend to simply follow what resides within me.
The moment I immerse myself in that, the body naturally moves. I now know that nothing can define me anymore.
It is simply being lived. The body, thoughts, and mind are merely a part of nature, of life.
- I appreciate everything.
Is it because I’ve developed a habit while going to Jongno of falling asleep at 12?..
When 12 o'clock comes, sleepiness washes over me like crazy. So I slept straight for 3 hours.
Maybe it’s also related to attending the Friday service yesterday after a long time?
I don't really know, and since thinking about it continuously won't yield an answer anyway, I decided to just look at the present.
Today I got a haircut and put on some hair wax for the first time in a while.
Then I headed to church. There was a Saturday prayer meeting, and I participated after a long time.
We shared various things, and I didn't speak with absolute certainty about my faith.
I simply adapted like water to the place before speaking. I didn't pray; I only practiced contemplation.
I no longer feel the distinction between male and female. It just looks like a single scene.
Of course, there might be physical sexual desire. But it is here right now. Therefore, I am not swept away by it.
I realized this thanks to a younger female friend of ten years whom I met after a long time last Sunday.
To put it in worldly terms, her appearance falls into the very attractive category.
I also felt physical sexual desire. But that was simply there, and I saw her merely as a being equal to myself.
Feeling physical sexual desire is inevitable. I cannot control this body.
Since it isn't my possession in the first place, it can't be helped. However, I could observe it, and as this body and that [desire/presence] love each other, I intend to cherish them.
There is a saying: One who knows that emptying everything like I do is peace and happiness finds it difficult to love.
If he were to love, he would love her so much that he would abandon all of his own happiness.
In the first place, I do not even wish for such a person anymore. I simply observe as life is being lived.
- I appreciate everything.
EarringUpload toSNSInstaXPinterestFacebook
Amondz
Reorganize the e99 website, like pics til it’s done for every productRetake the pics of all the 1st necklacesProductsWearing
To modify all of the descriptions that are on the Amondz
- 상표 등록 (In Progress)
- 2nd Season
- Key Chain
- Printing
- Put the Resin
- Key Chain
- Conceptualize the next season
- Upload the pics that we sponsored to Insta
- Figure out the SEO for e99
- Make the video using AI
- Change the product information that is on the Amondz
Upload the works I’ve made so far to the blogTo modify the post ‘About Hyun’
- Renew the blog constantly
- Write the Top5 Anime
- Next Season
- Upload to Insta
- To design the Heart Earring
To finish two-thirds of the book I bought
- Have two jobs.
- Reapply to the class to get the Fire Safety Manager certification
- Get the Fire Safety Manager certification
- Cancel Clip Studio before 11/10
💸💸💸
Yearly
- eLEMENTOR pLUGIN ₩85,000
(October) - cAFE24 hOSTING ₩60,000
(February) - SSL ₩40,000
(March)
Total ₩85,000
Unessential
- Beanie ₩9,000
Total ₩9,000
Essential
- MCT OIL ₩37,000
- Glasses Clothes ₩8,400
- Shoes for work ₩20,000
- Get my hair cut ₩40,000
Total ₩105,400
January ₩216,900
March ₩778,000
May ₩226,000
July ₩144,000
September ₩375,000
February ₩188,000
April ₩322,500
June ₩126,000
August ₩174,500
October ₩300,400
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