Yesterday evening during the prayer meeting, a text message arrived from the young adult president.
Saying let's talk on the phone at 10:30 PM, so I postponed my usual 9:00 PM sleep quite a bit.
I had no conversation to lead. However, since he suggested it first, I simply responded to it.
Even if there was a conversation, my intention was not the content from yesterday.

The young adult president said I was being rude. The reason given was that I told him he avoids/evades things,
and on Sunday, while discussing sharing questions, I seem to have upset him during a talk about promises.
He frequently made empty promises, and when he mentioned that he finds people who keep promises trustworthy and good,
I asked if that wasn't contradictory to his own life. Then he flared up on his own and said he wasn't faithful.
He also said it was rude of me to say that the world is what's wrong, not him.

Does separating the sin from the person constitute rudeness? Is it not a twisted world where empty words are taken for granted?
I never reviled his environment, nor did I revile his acquaintances. I merely pointed out that his world—shaped by those very perceptions—was flawed.
From another perspective, isn't an environment that enables such behavior without correction also at fault?
If one claims to be a Christian, should they not know even more clearly that empty words—lies themselves—are evil? To speak of such things so brazenly..

Not only that, but he also expanded and interpreted everything, defining me inside the imagination of his own world as he spoke.
I kept asking him why he was defining things by assuming "it must be so," even though I hadn't even thought of them.
In the end, I honestly don't even remember what he said. He spoke at length, but none of it hit home.
On top of that, though I didn't mention it to him, he probably mistook it as me wanting to talk about faith again or craving a deep conversation.
Even though my intention when asking to meet and talk one last time was about something entirely different.

I think the part that went awry was the KakaoTalk message after I asked to meet one last time.. I deleted it, so I don't remember clearly.
At that time, I wasn't looking for struggles of faith, nor was I seeking deep philosophical conversation. Simply put, I wanted a date. Even though I couldn't say it aloud.
Since basic conversation seemed to flow well between us.. the conversation I wanted to have at the end was actually an apology I wished to offer.
About how I had deceived myself and her, and how I had been tossed around by conflicts over faith without being clear and certain.
I wanted to explain why I didn't drop formal speech, and my inner conflict between private and public meetings, along with my feelings.
Together with an apology. Of course, I too have committed wrongdoings. No.. if honesty is called rudeness, then I will simply be rude.

It was necessary to speak about treating empty promises as natural, as there was a need to bring awareness to it.
Well.. the moment I hung up the phone, I felt an intuition that it was time to leave the church.
And today, I stated that next week will be my last for the cafe, and today will be my last for attending the church.
It is not out of my own ego-will, nor because I dislike seeing someone. It is simply that the time has come.
I do not hate him either. Rather, even now, I hope that he personally experiences God.