-Wednesday-

I couldn’t go to the gym for 3 days. My work has been done late for a few days.

There’s nowhere to relieve my stress. I’m getting to be much stressed when I’m working and staying home.

I realized I’m the kind of person who values time more than money.

I realized I’m a weak person more than I thought.

I can live somehow as long as I have money at the very least.

If this situation is a challenge to make me stronger, I have to endure it, but I can’t do it anymore.

I think my mind has reached the limit. I will move out.

I can’t trust anyone. There is nobody to understand me.

But I understand them. They have their own standpoints, and I’m just a weak person.

I’m really a weak person. There is nothing I can handle freely.

I wonder if there is something that permits to me among the time, money, mind, and health.

I don’t know. If I fill something, it’ll disappear something.

What is the reason I live and what was I born for?

-Friday-

I guess probably, I will move out somewhere between June and July.

This house system is so weird.

The landlords don’t take responsibility, and I think there are two or three of them.

I told Mark about my rent but he said I had to tell Paul, Then I told Paul but he said I had to give Mark the notice.

They avoided this problem with each other and they told me Jarel’s mother was in the hospital

But she was here today and yesterday. They lied to me.

Of course, I knew she had tooth surgery but it was one thing and another one thing.

I don’t want to be a person like them. If there is responsible something I have, I have to take responsibility with confidence.

I want to be a person who is honest, and I don’t want to be someone who avoids responsibility.

I come up with thoughts while writing this journal, why do I think about it like this?

I definitely wanted to die until yesterday, but now I find myself seeking a new purpose.

I don’t know very well. Perhaps, I don’t want to die.

-Sunday-

I decided to change my sleep time from 9-5 to 10-5.

My time is not enough if I get home, have dinner, and work out, Additionally, my skin also worsens.

I said to Jarel I would leave here then I said be quiet. Then he calmed down.

I wanted to rest properly so I didn’t go to the gym or boxing.

Jarel suspected that I reported him to the police, but I didn’t.

Of course, I told the landlord about this situation but I don’t want to make big issues and get in trouble.

I felt like I really got a nice rest today for the first in a long time. There was no anxiety.

And I was thinking about myself. What do I like? When am I happy?

So I realized I was happy when I created something new that was only mine, Whatever the food, music, and blog.

I thought about how it is going if I would widen this notion.

I started thinking about how I would feel if I reinvented myself.

It doesn’t know when I start. I think now is not the time. Nah? Now?