-Monday-

Jarel made fun of me since this morning.

It was really nothing significant, but I still got stressed.

It rained today, so my work was done early, but I got so wet that I ended up feeling cold.

Maybe I might catch a cold.

Got home then had dinner, and went to the gym. I thought there would be few people,

But it was so crowded that I couldn’t work out much.

When I had one set left, some guy asked me if he could use the equipment with me.

But I didn’t understand what he said because he spoke so quickly. So I asked him twice what he said,

And then I thought he was frustrating.

I didn’t feel well walking home because of myself, not because of him.

I felt really pathetic for not understanding a very simple word. It made me feel like going back to Korea.

I think my mind is being torn down as getting much stressed.

Lastly, I heard from the landlord that Jarel would leave this house in the middle of this month.

I hope it will go well as planned. Maybe it will because the landlord talked to his mom.

 

-Thursday-

Today, I had a tough day. I did the raking work all by myself under the scorching sunlight.

There was an uphill path and a large yard, and furthermore, I didn’t have time to rest

Many bosses don’t understand the people who work under them. I also can’t understand them.

But they must have memories of when they worked under someone else, so why don’t they understand us?

I’m sure I looked exhausted because I was doing the hardest work among my team

I know what my problem is; I can’t hide my fatigue. That’s my issue. But is it really a problem? 

Why don’t they tell me we would do it instead of me before to coming this situation?

I was so tired so I didn’t go to the gym.

Anyway, when I wrapped up my day, I felt nice because Alex made food.

If there was a drink, it would be better.

These days, I feel like I want to drink for the first in a long time.

 

-Saturday-

Finally, my first food recipe was made. But the visual is not enough yet, so I didn’t take a picture.

Probably, I think it’ll be done next weekend.

Jarel had been quiet for a few days, but he started causing trouble again today.

I informed the landlord that if Jarel doesn’t leave by next weekend, I will leave in July or shortly thereafter.

And I told him to take my deposit and I didn’t want to pay rent next month.

This approach is simpler and more effective.

Furthermore, I’ve been quitting eating chocolate and snacks. 

I haven’t been buying bread, and I plan to stop eating it altogether next month. 

Additionally, I will suspend buying ice cream starting next month.

If I quit something that not healthy bit by bit, I will become a person who I want.

 

-Sunday-

Today, I didn’t feel very well and the boxing class was closed because it is Mother’s Day.

I was supposed to go to the café, so I went to 17 Ave but when I arrived there, I didn’t feel a worth into the café.

 When I lived in Korea, I went to the café frequently alone but now I don’t feel any excitement.

If I went there, I thought I felt there must be no fun happening.

So I went to the library to read a book, but my feeling wasn’t good so I went back home.

I slept deeply and then went shopping. That’s all.

I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. I’ve lost my excitement again.

Why do I work? Why do I save my money? Why do I live?

When I die, I can’t take anything with me.