jOURNALING

jOURNALING #151

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E99
sUNDAY
19th aPR

I don’t know yet which church I will go to next week.
I felt discomfort during the pastor’s speech.
At that moment, I could feel it was not my way. It was not the place I belonged to.
During the group meeting, I could feel it. I felt like I was out of that place.


So why I said “I don’t know well yet” is that if my Father gives me an order to go there, I will go.
But now I’m not sure. I told the church secretary about my faith.
Actually, I’m worried about it, as I gave him something—a small spark.
But I don’t regret it cuz I know it will become my new personal experience and give me a realization.
There is something I can learn from everything.
If I’m wrong, it’s okay. My Father will protect me.
Just learn, make my own journey, and become the best one my Father wants me to be.

  1. I appreciate my Father for protecting me from evil.

mONDAY
20th aPR

I got up late after calling last night.
It was a churchgoer, and we talked about Gnostic.
I think he’s intelligent, but I’m a fool yet.

I didn’t have any knowledge; that’s why I couldn’t explain my thoughts clearly to him.
But strangely, I still don’t wanna study. I just wanna get experience.

My faith doesn’t belong to any religion.
I’m somewhere between Christianity and something like Gnosticism.

But as I told you lots of times, I’m not a Gnost.
Some days, it’ll be clear who my father is. I can’t name him.

  1. 1. I appreciate my Father that I wasn’t injured today.

  2. I appreciate my Father for always protecting me in any situation.

tUESDAY
21st aPR

–

  1. –
wEDNESDAY
22nd aPR

Since I stopped believing in the Old Testament, I don’t know to whom I should pray.
Maybe I need to learn all over again from the beginning.

At the church, there is someone I wanna have a conversation with over the meal.
But I know now, I can’t.
Still, I don’t know whether I will go to the church, but even if I go, I know I won’t talk to her.

It’s my journey. Journey means not building my home,
but leaving something behind and wandering to some place to gain experience.

Yeah… it’s a journey. Saying ‘goodbye’ should be used too.

  1. I appreciate my Father that I finished two items on my to-do list today.

  2. I appreciate my Father that I’m getting used to not smoking.

tHURSDAY
23th aPR

I increased the time to pray at night from 35 minutes to 40.
I felt like it was too short.

Btw, cleaning the water tank will be finished by the end of this month.
After working, I couldn’t do my work properly.

What’s the truth? I’m still seeking.
One thing I know is to give love to everyone.
I’m sure I know, and I should probably let my curiosity for wisdom go.
I know them—in my head, not my heart. What do I need?
What’s the thing I need to know? Maybe the personal experience.

The answer is simple cuz it’s just.. to do it.
I’ve forgotten the quote “Think after doing it”

  1. I appreciate God for everything.
fRIDAY
24th aPR

Working is 3days left.
While I’m working here, I have not been able to focus on my work.

Now it’s summer. It means many people will find some jewelry.
We won’t miss this season. I’m gonna do everything.

  1. I appreciate my father for always calming my mind.
sATURDAY
25th aPR

I had a lot of fun learning DJing today.
I finally learned how to play as I wanted to.
Talking about ideas with the instructor was really good.
I might wanna be closer to him.

I’m still thinking of going to church tomorrow.
I should pray more and listen to my Father on how to do it.
I don’t know if it’s my voice or not, but I want to see them.

One thing I was surprised about today was that I didn’t watch any community sites.
SNS as well. After I realized it didn’t relate to me, I felt it was meaningless.
If I know some information, what could I do? Just focus on the present.
At the end of the day, the truth is my spirit, which I don’t know if it’s God, myself, or something else.
But I decided that’s my father.

Last thing is that we don’t know anything if we don’t have experience.
We are at Plato’s Cape. In the end, the truth is what you believe in now.
We can choose, and we are gonna move on, not to doubt your choice and your belief.

  1. I appreciate my father for approving that I live.

  2. I appreciate my father for approving that I have hands to type.

  3. I appreciate my father for approving that I can do whatever I want.

  • Meat
  • To upload a bandage and croissant ring to the Amondz
  • To make an announcement about a case, like a poster
  • 상표 등록 (iN pROGRESS)
  • tO mAKE A sECOND sEASON pLAN (iN pROGRESS)
    • To finish the kimono ring
  • Make the answers to the FAQ on website whenever something pops up in my mind 
  • To make the pendant poster
    • Orange
    • Ramen
    • Pretzel
    • Pizza
  • Drawing a new title for the archive page
  • Posting on SNS
  • Organizing quotes
  • Drawing
  • tO cHANGE PW (iT dOESN’T wORK!!)
  • To figure out ESTY (Somedays)
  • To renew a blog constantly
    • Make the title of pages, like the archive page
    • Make this blog mobile user-friendly
  • Review “Siddhartha”
    • Posting on blog
  • Upload my thoughts
    • Drawing
    • Posting on blog
    • Posting on SNS 
    • Posting reels
  • Read half of the book
  • To wrap my shoes and clothes
  • To make the DJing mixset whenever I have times 
  • To wash the jacket and coat
  • Cleaning up the ac
  • To organize all my Google accounts
  • To finish reading the book + review

💸💸💸

  • eLEMENTOR pLUGIN ₩85,000 
    (oCTORBER)
  • cAFE24 hOSTING ₩60,000
    (fEBRUARY)
  • SSL ₩40,000
    (mARCH)

tOTAL ₩

  • Coffee ₩19,000
  • For church event ₩14,000
  • Dinner ₩25,000
  • Cigarettes ₩4,500

tOTAL ₩62,500

  • Donation ₩40,000
  • Spotify ₩12,000
  • Coupang ₩8,000
  • Gym ₩34,000 
  • Phone plan ₩4,000
  • Transprtation₩ 68,000
  • Phone ₩35,000

tOTAL ₩201,000

  • Songs ₩5000

tOTAL ₩5000

  • Shoes for working ₩20,000
  • Book ₩8,000
  • Phone case and film ₩26,000

tOTAL ₩54,000

jANUARY ₩ 216,900

mARCH ₩ 778,000

fEBRUARY ₩ 188,000

aPRIL ₩322,500

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